My Man

God shows His amazing goodness all around us if only we are willing to see it :)

Bob read my last two confessions. He had one question.

Why do you feel the need to preface your achievements with qualifying reasons why it’s a good thing?

This is a man who knows me. He knows me so well. He knows what I am thinking and feeling without having to tell him. He's my best friend...my coach (I cannot call him my cheerleader LOL). He's proud of me and loves me no matter what. I told him WHY I preface it. He sent me this amazing encouragement and I love him for it!

You’re amazing and wonderful….

When a person accomplishes something they should do so with some pride in what they accomplished. Even when a person fails they should be proud they at least tried.

Driving on the interstate and mowing grass aren’t your greatest achievements… but they are that. Achievements.

You should not feel stupid, but proud of yourself that you aren’t just staying put.. but that you’re trying new things… I am SO proud of you. You could have just said, “Bob drives… I don’t want to” or “Bob mows, why should I ever do it?”

You did it… you should be proud of yourself… and not assume people think anything bad of you for it.

Don’t run the football into the end zone and apologize to the fans that you were wide open when you caught the ball… or that it was the QB that threw the amazing pass…

Spike the ball and do a dance and don’t apologize for it! :)

Confession #86

9/15/13 - Yesterday marked the first time EVER that I drove on an interstate. Another YEAH! for me :) Don't judge! Remember, I lived with my parents until Bob and I got married. Anytime I've gone out of town, I've always had someone with me :) Granted, this was I-270 W and the easiest of all the interstates to drive on I think....but I did it! Now, tell me to take I-71 to I-70 and my head will spin. But at least I know I can take Alex to his doctor's appointments without Bob having to constantly take vacation days :)

Confession #85

9/7/13 - I mowed the grass for the first time EVER! Aside from the one crooked strip that I mowed (or the lawn mower mowed as it dragged me behind it) when we lived on Winona....I totally mowed! Not the entire back yard, but the whole main portion. If you are thinking...wow, what a LOSER. You are 32 and you have NEVER MOWED?? I don't care :) My dad always took care of the yard work at home...and then I moved out and we didn't have a yard needing mowed until we bought our home. When we purchased it, Bob has always mowed. It's another small accomplishment for me this year :) Especially since I am also afraid of them :) Yeah!

God is Good

I had a breathing test today. As part of that test, I was on a special diet yesterday. I was drained of all energy, I had a monster headache throughout the day, and had to fast beginning at 8 PM. I prayed that I could get through the day and especially the night. I didn't know how I was going to fast all evening, when I am used to having my late-evening snacks and also used to staying up until roughly 11:30. I figured it was definitely going to be a LOOOOOOOOOOONG night.

Well, God is so good.

Thanks to my headache, I had to lay my head down. I laid on the couch about 8:15 PM to try to get it to stop thumping while the kids and Bob were playing in Alex's room. I woke up at 10:45, got ready for bed, and was back out almost immediately. Aside from waking up once during the night when my my sweet Alex was yelling for me, I slept until 5:30 :)

Had it not been for the headache, I very well WOULD have had a long evening. But the headache gave me rest, and therefore my thoughts were not on what I could not have to eat or drink.

God is in everything in our lives - from the large to the miniscule - and He was definitely with me through the night.

He deserves all our praises and that is what I want to do! So rather large or small - I will give all credit where it is due - to Him and only Him :)

Do-Over

I am not one to request do-overs of days. But if I could have one to do over, it would be this one and it's not even 8:30 :(

Today is Maleah's first day of first grade. The morning was supposed to go so well. Instead, Bob and I were arguing over something stupid and Maleah was pouting that she didn't like her dress, her feet hurt, her leg hurt - seemed to be complaining about everything.

Oh what I would give to take that stupid argument back.

Oh what I would give to have picked out a different outfit for her first day.

Instead, it went the way it did. Maleah pouted about her dress & feet until finally, at 7:55 (already late for work), I took her to her room and put her in shorts, a shirt and socks and running shoes. Her shirt is too big. Nothing I can do about that now. That's how she went to school. No wonderful first day of school picture showing her excitement. It was all a frustrated rush to get out the door. Then I lost my keys, so I spent the next few minutes trying to find them.

If there was one day to start over....this would be the day.

Open house went great last night. I know she'll be fine. But it breaks my heart....her first day of school. No picture. No excitement. Just fighting.

I sit here crying because it breaks my heart. I hate how this morning went and there is nothing I can do to change that.

My heart is broken for this. She should be on the day care bus heading off to school right now. I just pray that she's lost in the excitement with all the other kids and the morning frustrations will fall away for all of us.

I hope she knows how much I love her and how sorry I am that it went the way it did.

Confession #84

We went on vacation last week to Gatlinburg. My confession is that I drove outside of the state of Ohio for the first time EVER!

You may think it silly that I am 32 and have never driven outside of the state, but whenever we've gone on road trips, it was always my dad driving....and since we've been married, it's Bob. I prefer to be the navigator. I like the control of the map. But I wanted him to be able to see the beautiful mountains and creeks, rockfaces, etc. too (or doze off as he did a couple times LOL)

Next on my list is being able to say that I drove on an interstate. This was just driving from Cade's Cove back to Gatlinburg, a long and slow ride :)Interstates scare me, but I may have to give 270 a try sometime :)

Confession #83

Running Bases We took the kids to the Annex yesterday for an afternoon of fun. We kicked the soccer ball in the soccer nets, played baseball on the baseball field and then went for a walk on the flood wall. For the first time EVER that I can recall I got to run the bases. I can't remember ever being on a REAL baseball field and running bases. Bob pitched, I hit, and though I should have stopped at first, I ran all the way to home :) It felt good :) I'm glad I made it! LOL It's been a LOOOONG time since I "ran". We had a great afternoon :) Maleah decided she wants to be a soccer goalie because that is the only way she can use her hands :) AND It is glaringly obvious that Mr. Alex needs to be on a baseball team. The way he can hit that ball absolutely amazes me! It was fun seeing Bob bat too. He always loved baseball and I know even though it was a foam bat and ball, he had a great time :) God is so good :) Maybe I'll run those bases again soon! PS Bob was NOT so good at being a goalie ;) hehe SCORE!!!

Confession #82

I am proud to say that after 30 years of living....I have finally baked something from SCRATCH! Personally, I think baking from "scratch" is overrated....I can rock the Betty Crocker box as well as anyone else can, and it tastes delicious :) Duncan Hines too :)I add eggs and oil to it...so it's ALMOST like from scratach ;) So I have finally done it and probably won't do it again any time soon...BUT I will never know how it turned out....It's not for me! AND it has walnuts in it...gag me!

There's a myriad or things I haven't done in my life...but now I can "scratch" one off the list ;)

Fitting

We planted a magnolia tree in remembrance of Emily on her due date in 2006. I chose a magnolia tree because their flowers are just so incredibly beautiful! Bob and I were discussing the flowering trees the other day, and he mentioned how other flowering trees hold up so much better in colder weather, and flower longer. I thought about that....but you know....it's so fitting....Emily's tree blossomed just a little over a week ago. Yesterday, the wind blew so strong most of the petals are now gone. It always loses its petals so quickly. But it's sort of a metaphor for Emily's life. Those flowers blossom and for a moment we get to enjoy their beauty...and in a flash they are gone. And so comes our Emily....she was with us such a brief moment, but in that moment held all the beauty we could ever imagine. I don't think there could be a more fitting tree to remember her :)

Facebook & Things...

Facebook has robbed me of my blogging. I love blogging and writing out my thoughts because many times I feel about a million times better when I do. Now....I just go on FB and make a comment here or there....I don't get to articulate anything! I need to stay away from it and do more of this!

I miss my husband. I miss my kids being happy and healthy. This winter has worn on all of us. We are 4 people 200% ready for spring! We have no idea what this spring will hold for us....lots of changes I know. The Lord has provided us peace though that whatever happens...it's going to work out.

Whatever decisions we have to make....I want to make sure that we are doing everything that the Lord wants us to do.....I was reading last night in Luke about getting so involved in living in this world....that you miss your heavenly focus. I am fearful of doing that as our days are filled with work, kids, chores, etc. I don't want to forget through it all that I am here for one purpose and that is for God.

Bob's snoozing on the couch...so I'd better get off here....

P.S. I can't stand Brutus (our neighbor's dumb dog with a loud mouth that stands outside half the night and barks). OY!