The LoveSeat!

Please, please, please would someone please buy our loveseat??? It's REALLY awesome and totally comfortable, in as good of shape as when we bought it, but we don't have room for it anymore! Here's a pic:



We paid between $450 and $500 are selling it for $250. Please buy it! :)

Confession #42

I don't like it when Bob's away from me. Seriously. I hate it. If he has plans, I don't want him to go. I don't want him to go do anything. I don't like it if he has to make a quick trip to the store, or the gas station, or even to pick up food for dinner. I don't like it when he has to mow the lawn. I don't like it if he has to run over to his mom and dad's. I don't like it if he has to make a trip somewhere else in the house. I don't like it when he has to do stuff on the computer (like church website stuff, Maleah picture stuff, etc...). I want to hog him. All the time. I like to have him with me whatever we're doing, and hate when he has to leave me. I got like this when we lost Emily...and then it got worse when we found out we were pregnant with Maleah. I truly figured it would dissipate once we had her, but it's not gone away. Not even a little bit. I suppose it's a good problem to have...loving someone so much you always want them around (even when they tell silly jokes all the time!). :)

I guess I love him a little bit ;)

Confession #41

Sleeping. Everyone has their own little bedtime routine. Mine, like everything else in my life, is a little crazy.

When I was little, I HAD to "blow out the light". After my parents told me goodnight, I would always blow as they turned the light out.

I also had to sleep with my special panda bear. One night, I was getting ready to sleep, and my panda bear's back was ripped open. I was so upset. I cried. I couldn't sleep without him. So my wonderful mom got out her sewing kit and sewed him back together for me, just so I could sleep. I still have to sleep with something in my arms. It's now a travel-size pillow...but sometimes I wake up thinking it is Maleah...a little creepy when you are groggy.

I have always had to sleep with a fan. It drowns out house noises. I still do. Or I did before we had Maleah. Now I have the noise of the baby monitor to drone me to sleep.

Up until the last year, I could NOT sleep if Bob did not say, in this exact order, "Good night" "Sweet Dreams" "I Love You" "Goodnight". He started it. That was the only way I knew he was going to fall asleep. So he had to do the routine so I would know, ok he's sleeping now. Now I'm a little more flexible. :)

There will come a day...

I was laying in bed last night, thinking. I was staring out at the tree tops. There will come a day when I won't be here to see the tree tops and the night sky. To feel the wind across my face. To feel the warmth of sunshine on my skin, or snuggle up in a soft, warm, cozy blanket. It's never really bothered me before. So what if I was not going to forever be on this horrible planet filled with sin and destruction. What comes after is so much better! Then suddenly it hit me...there will come a day when I won't be able to hold my precious baby anymore. To see her smiling face. Hear her giggle and laugh. There will come a day when "forever" with Bob will end. There will come a day where all of those that I know and love with be no more...

I don't mean to sound so....down....or so dependent on this earth for my happiness. I am just constantly being reminded of how short life is. It is short, isn't it? Think about how we spend our days...There are so many things now that looking back Bob and I wish we would have done. Have we lost our chance? No. But we have lost time. Time that we could have spent doing other things. Not that we didn't enjoy that time together...but it could have been better spent as well.

Too many times we live life trying to make ourselves happy. And for what? What is it that matters? A lifetime sounds like a long time, but it's not. I am just one more person living on this earth. One of billions. What makes me so important from anyone else? Nothing. Do I stand out? No. Will I have a huge memorial when I pass away? No. Will I make it into the history books? Nope. No matter how important you think you are...you are as disposable as the next person. So what are you going to do with your life? Spend it making yourself happy? Look around. Take a nice long hard look around. What have you missed out on? What could you be doing at this very moment? We should never delay, because our time will come like a thief in the night, just as Christ will come. On that day we'll have no more chances to right our wrongs.

I praise God that my life is spent for Him. I'm not always as faithful in my Bible study as a should be, but He has given me a core desire to know Him as deeply as I can. I miss Him when I am not in His word. I miss Him when I forget to stop and pray. I don't want to desire this world when my time comes. I want to leave this world with a smile on my face, knowing Eternity is ahead of me.

He is my desire. My life is His. Maleah is His. I am His. Are you?

Confession #40

I thought of a specific peeing incident...since my last few posts have all involved peeing! :)

It happened when I was still in elementary school.

I was ready for bed and went to do my standard "second pee". Then I went back to bed ready to sleep. But then I felt the urge to go again. Then again. Then again...This went on for close to two hours. Finally, I was afraid something was wrong with me. I was afraid I would get in trouble for being up so late. So I got down on my knees, crawled down the hallway and behind the chair in the living room, not knowing quite how to tell my mom. She finally saw me, and I cried (I always seem to do that!) telling her what was wrong.

I always wondered just how hard she had to stifle her laugh...hearing me saying "Mommy, I can't stop peeing..."

Confession #39

Speaking of peeing...here's something else...

Every night, I go to the bathroom after I brush my teeth, right before we go to bed. Then Bob will go in and brush his teeth and go to the bathroom...and I CANNOT sleep until I go back to the bathroom one more time. I don't know what it is. It's been that way since I was a little girl. Always have to do double trips before bed. Weird.

Boy, I hope you all still like me....

Maybe I should stop now...no, maybe I should have stopped 38 confessions ago! Too late now...might as well keep going!

Confession #38

Ok...speaking of peeing...that brings up ANOTHER confession! I was in third grade. We came home from somewhere...shopping, I think...and I had to pee soooo bad! Stacy headed straight for the bathroom, leaving me with a full bladder to try to manage. If I were Bobby, I could go outside and relieve myself...but NOOOO, I HAD to be a girl! So I waited...and waited...and waited...It seemed like FOREVER. It got harder and harder to hold it. I went into our room, squatted on the floor, trying anything to relieve the pressure. No worries. The pressure then began to relieve itself. Next thing I know, I'm peeing on the floor! It wasn't intentional. It just happened. I couldn't hold it anymore. I didn't want to tell anyone. I tried to pretend it didn't happen. Poor Stacy's feet found it, I think. She had to help me clean it up, since she took so long in the bathroom. :) Made me feel better!

So here's a tip, if you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY have to pee...DON'T SQUAT!

Confession #37

Speaking of the basement...that brings up a couple more confessions! We used to keep a ziploc bag of various foods under the couch in the family room. Cereal...snack cakes...things we normally weren't allowed to have for snack. (Bobby always got the snack cakes! I've never been able to let that go!) Anyway, when we stayed the night down there we would stay up late and eat food we weren't supposed to have! :) It was fun!

More humiliating confession to come....Brace yourself...

I was a big scaredy-cat (still am). Afraid of everything. I was afraid to cross the hall from my room to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Big scaredy-cat. Well, what does a girl do when she's so afraid of dark places and is spending the night in the basement and finds out she has to pee? She asks someone to go upstairs with her. But NOOOO, they don't WANT to go upstairs...and it's the middle of the night...and everyone else is in bed...so what do you do in THAT situation? I'll tell you what you do. (Keep in mind please that this was between 4th-6th grades...though still too old.)...What do you do? You go into the laundry room, find a bucket, and let it flow. That's right. I was too scared to go upstairs. I used the bucket. I must go bury my head now...never to show my face again. I did remember to wash it out though. :) There was a sink downstairs and everything. Does that make it any better? Somehow I don't think so....

Confession #36

When I was in middle school, Treiva used to stay the night at the house alot, and we would go into the basement to the family room and hang out. Sometimes we slept down there too. One night we were down there, me, Treiva and Stacy. Just hanging out. We heard this scratching noise. Weird. Heard it again. Double weird. Heard it more. Got spooked. Heard it some more. Huddled on the couch. I started thinking...We've got to get out of here! Dad's upstairs, he should come check on us! But he didn't....Then we heard it again. Ok, it wasn't funny anymore. Terror sunk in. My mind was going crazy. I had read Stephen King...I knew how we were going to end up! We decided to try to sneak upstairs so that whatever was down there couldn't get us. I started to walk out of the family room, and this creature crawls out from underneath the pool table. I screamed. I mean...SCREAMED. I stabbed myself in the hand with a pencil (totally on accident). I cried. I ran upstairs...well, bolted would probably be the more descriptive term. The "creature" was Bobby. I was MAD. It scared me sooo bad! Dad knew about it too. Again...I was mad. Silly Bobby scared me half to death!

Ma-Ma-Ma

Just wanted to let everyone know that Maleah is starting to say ma-ma-ma-ma-ma. Just when I thought she couldn't be any more awesome! :) She's so big now. If you haven't seen her yet, I cannot wait for you to get to! She's amazing! :) What did I ever do with my time before????

I was just going to post a picture...but I couldn't choose! Here are a few! :) Man, she's fantastic!

One of the pictures is what we call the "baby straight jacket". Guess which one! ;)