Two years ago today I woke up, I got ready for work, straightened my hair for the Singing Christmas Tree final performance that night, put on my pink turtleneck sweater because it was cold outside, and was a very happy person, content with what was going on in my life. I left home and went to the doctor for my routine appointment. I walked away from that appointment broken and changed.
That day I was weak, and needed to be strong. That day God lifted me up, strengthened me and got me through the hardest loss of my life.
Some days it feels like it didn't happen....other days it feels like it just happened yesterday. Walking out of that doctor's office, alone, having to call Bob and tell him that our baby was gone. Going to my mom's work, seeing her smiling face disappear as I told her the news. Having to face everyone I knew, knowing that this wonderful gift that I had been given had been taken away from me. Living the remainder of that day knowing that my baby was still IN me but not WITH me.
God was there. He was all around me. He was the one that got me through the horror of that day. Regardless of how long she was with me, Emily was our gift from God. He gave me peace the same month we got pregnant that everything was going to be ok. I laid in bed, and I FELT it. I felt His presence and I KNEW. When we lost Emily I didn't ask why. God has reasons we don't understand....but I know that Maleah is a blessing from God, and if everything had worked out ok and Emily had been born a healthy baby in May, that Maleah wouldn't be with us.
There were so many people that showed us how much they love us through the loss. Two years ago we went home with 8 answering machine messages expressing their sorrows in our loss. Greg said 'This really sucks'. I love Greg for that. He said exactly what we were thinking.
The cards, the flowers, the prayers....the constant prayers....
Thank you all. YOU helped get us through it.
We love you all.
4 comments:
It is such an odd thing to not have it cross your mind for a little while...but then it hits you hard.
I know that sometimes that memories of the ones you love start to fade over the years. The positive thing with Emily is that our memories - of what could have been - will always stay fresh in our minds. Time can't take that away.
I Love You!!! I can't think of any words worth saying except I Love You!
Stacy
It's something that we forget. We just give God the praise for getting us through it.
Okay, I messed up and didn't proof it before I posted it. It should have said...
"It's something we NEVER forget!!!! But we thank God for getting us through it"
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