Just Look At Her!!!

I know I haven't been able to post much lately and for that I apologize. I have held out pictures of Maleah as a result. I know Bob has the Picasa link on his page....but you have got to look at her!

Her little teeth that we waited and waited and waited for have finally started coming in...ALL AT ONCE!

Stay posted....there will be more to come....I promise not to wait so long!


She found her "M's"

Maleah lost her ability to say any word with an "m" in it over the last several weeks. We worked and worked to get her to say "da-da". She finally did that and all of the sudden she won't say "ma-ma".

Until a couple days ago. We were sitting there eating dinner. Maleah was in her high chair and out of nowhere (and unprompted) she exclaims "ma-ma"! It was wonderful.

I realize this isn't my blog, but I wanted everyone to know about it!

Two Years Ago....

Two years ago today I woke up, I got ready for work, straightened my hair for the Singing Christmas Tree final performance that night, put on my pink turtleneck sweater because it was cold outside, and was a very happy person, content with what was going on in my life. I left home and went to the doctor for my routine appointment. I walked away from that appointment broken and changed.

That day I was weak, and needed to be strong. That day God lifted me up, strengthened me and got me through the hardest loss of my life.

Some days it feels like it didn't happen....other days it feels like it just happened yesterday. Walking out of that doctor's office, alone, having to call Bob and tell him that our baby was gone. Going to my mom's work, seeing her smiling face disappear as I told her the news. Having to face everyone I knew, knowing that this wonderful gift that I had been given had been taken away from me. Living the remainder of that day knowing that my baby was still IN me but not WITH me.

God was there. He was all around me. He was the one that got me through the horror of that day. Regardless of how long she was with me, Emily was our gift from God. He gave me peace the same month we got pregnant that everything was going to be ok. I laid in bed, and I FELT it. I felt His presence and I KNEW. When we lost Emily I didn't ask why. God has reasons we don't understand....but I know that Maleah is a blessing from God, and if everything had worked out ok and Emily had been born a healthy baby in May, that Maleah wouldn't be with us.

There were so many people that showed us how much they love us through the loss. Two years ago we went home with 8 answering machine messages expressing their sorrows in our loss. Greg said 'This really sucks'. I love Greg for that. He said exactly what we were thinking.

The cards, the flowers, the prayers....the constant prayers....

Thank you all. YOU helped get us through it.

We love you all.


10 Years....

Today it has been 10 years since the day I met Bob. We met at my school dance, he had JUST broken up with his girlfriend and went with a friend of his. It was 70's retro and we got beaded necklaces. They were really cheap but I still have them. He gave me his that night :) We did the electric slide and about every other type of line dancing we could do (not by choice....) and we got to dance one slow song....and when I met him he introduced himself by shaking my hand. That impressed me!

I had to get his number from Laura and it was ME that called HIM after the dance. But thank goodness I did! I don't know what I'd do without him!

10 years.....WOW!.....It seems like a small amount of time and a large amount all at the same time.

It's been 10 years since I met you....and I still not only love you more and more ...I like you! You're my best friend and I'm so grateful that we are together. Thanks for being you. :)

My Week with Maleah

I've been home with Maleah since last Thursday. I was on vacation all week and it has been FANTASTIC. To just spend every day with her, absorbing her baby hugs and kisses all day long, watching her play, giggle, laugh and even's been amazing. I will hate when Monday rolls around because I don't know if I'll be able to bear to leave her again. I know I have to, but sucks.

However, I will marvel in the remainder of the time left with her and we will go on as necessary.

I love her SO much....she is my amazing little genius who opens the DVD player and licks the DVDs....even though she's not supposed to be anywhere NEAR the T.V.....she's my amazing little scaredy cat who we have finally managed to get to stop going into the dining room by placing a stuffed snowman in the way....she just looks at him and whines....she's my amazing little walker who took 5 steps today all on her own...the most so far.....she's my amazing little sleeper, who has mastered naps...but still wakes up every night....she's my amazing little talker who jibber jabbers all the time saying lots of things that start with "b".....and who we finally got to only take her bug (pacifier) when it is time to sleep. Once she's awake...out it comes. She's my amazing little big girl. She's over 10 months old....

She's mine and she is AMAZING!!!

p.s. She's Bob's too :) But this week, she's MINE! :)



It's coming upon Thanksgiving (2 wonderfully short days away!) and I have heard many people request "What are YOU thankful for?"

There are so many things....and it's so hard to pick just one thing. The Lord, aBob (the "a" was a type-O, but I had to leave it in there) ;), Maleah, family, church family, friends, my job, my house, my food and clothing, my transportation....the list goes on and on. They may be obvious, sure, but I am no less thankful for these things.

One thing I am very thankful for is trials. Yep. That's right. I am thankful for the hard times in my life. Am I crazy? Possibly. But not about this. Blessings are nice, absolutely, but I feel that the trials we go through make the blessings we receive so much sweeter. If we never had to go through trials, we would not recognize blessings when we receive them.

Thank you, Lord, for sending trials my way. I hope they are handled in a way that is pleasing in your sight. Strengthen me for the next, Lord, though I can't see it, I know it will come.


10 Short Months

Well, here it is....November 19th....our little baby girl is growing up! She's a big 10 months old today! It has all gone by SOOOO fast. Truthfully, in the beginning, she was so fussy I wanted to fast foward about 4 months....and here it much later....and it has flown by. She's talking up a storm now, finding consonants she didn't know existed. She finally said "Da-da" and though she doesn't say it often...she means it when she says it! I've been middle-naming her and she understands it. She heads for that TV and I tell her "NO" in a firm voice and she doesn't react, and then I say "Maleah Desiree" and she turns and looks...she knows what that means. Whether she listens or not is another story! She's beautiful too. She makes these faces that are just indescribeable. There are no words to describe her. She's just AMAZING!!! I still can't believe she's ours!


Confession #71

Today's confession is that I have a hard time moving on once someone has hurt me.

Do I forgive them? Yes.
Do I forget? No.

It's a flaw of mine and something I battle. When someone hurts me, and there is no sort of reconciliation, my thought is usually to just forget them. I tell myself that I don't need them. That if they hurt me and don't seem to care then they must not be worth reconciling with. The truth is...I hate being hurt so badly that I would rather just not have to worry about being hurt again. Lack of reconciliation drives me crazy. If I feel a situation is not settled, I find it hard to move on from that. To allow myself to continue to talk to the person that hurt me, because then I feel as though I am being fake to someone....knowing there is something that isn't quite finished.

This world is full of hurt and pain and there's no way I can run from it. I've been hurt by family, friends, co-workers and people I don't even know. It's something I have to learn how to get past. I'm working on it.


Verse of the Day

1 Peter 3:18
“For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit,”

I don't think I need to elaborate. Christ died for YOU. Period.



Today I am feeling very happy and excited. I have a wonderful husband, amazing daughter, awesome family, great friends, a fantastic church family, a great job, Thanksgiving is next week, I have vacation the week after that, then comes the Singing Christmas Tree, and we'll be right in the heart of the Christmas Season! I am fired up for our Christmas this year, moreso than any other. This Christmas will make up for the last 2. Bring on the holidays!



Verse of the Day

After making my earlier post, Answered Prayer, I read my BibleGateway verse of the day:

Colossians 1:9
“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding.”

When you pray, seek God's will. Then you KNOW your prayers are answered.

My Maleah...

We had such an awesome to visit Grandma, spend time together, have a Sunday school get together, and just relax at home...and there are days like today that it physically hurts in my chest because all I want to do is leave work and run and see her.

Man, I miss her!

Answered Prayer

We've been praying, and praying, and praying and praying....
and crying, and crying, and crying....
and waiting and waiting....

Our prayers were answered yesterday! Rick, Kathy and Greg were back! Oh, man, I was SOOOO excited, and still am. It was the highlight of my week! (Aside from Maleah!) When we lost Emily, these were some of the first people that we heard from, from Greg's initial phone call on the machine, to Rick and Kathy's flowers, to the visits, the cards, the hugs, the prayers...They saw our pain and were there for us. When we were hurting and waiting to get pregnant again, they prayed. They had the class pray, and remembered us and were faithful in their prayers, and God heard them. We got pregnant. When I was fearful of losing another baby...they were there. They had the entire class pray around me in my fear providing me comfort and reminding me that God hears our prayers and He is in control.

These are some of the most loving people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, and I am grateful that they are in my life. Welcome back!

Thank you Lord!!!

Now, we're waiting on another prayer to be answered. We need to continue to pray that one of these houses will sell! My mom and dad have worked too hard to have such a heavy burden resting on their shoulders. They are the 2 most wonderful people in the world and they NEED one of them to sell ASAP. All prayers are accepted!


Bob and Maleah

I just love them so much. Bob is so awesome. He's my best friend, husband, protector, confidant, everything. Maleah is the greatest baby in the entire world, the most beautiful little girl, the most wonderful daughter in the entire world. I love them more than words can say.

Here's Maleah's halloween pictures...



They drive me crazy :)

Just thought I'd mention that :)


Verse of the Day

Ephesians 2:8-9
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith

Grace, it's a wonderful marvelous thing. How awesome to know that God's glorious grace covers me, washes over me, and SAVES me from the evil sins that reside in all of our lives.

-and this not from yourselves

Praise God that I cannot save myself....for if I could...I would surely fail.

it is the gift of God

It is a GIFT. We just have to accept the gift. How? Through FAITH.

— not by works, so that no one can boast.”

So many people rely on the fact that they are a "good person" to get them to heaven. Not true. This verse tells the truth very clearly. We cannot save ourselves. The Lord can save us, and it doesn't matter how much bad or good we have done, we ALL need salvation and we cannot EARN it. It's a GIFT given to us and we must ACCEPT it. Once you figure that's so easy. It's so easy. Just accept it, accept HIM. Make your life worth more....more than anything this world can offer.


Confession #70

It's been awhile ... but here's a good one.

We were at Stacy and Kevin's new apartment Friday night and talking about how Kaitlyn has a lock on her bedroom door...and hopefully she doesn't use it...and it made me think of this....

I had forgotten about it!

In elementary school, the whole class would get bathroom breaks (no it's not another pee story!). Anyway...sometimes it just wasn't enough to hold you over throughout the day....or you had to wait too sometimes I would get the teacher's permission to go by myself during a quiet time in class. I'm guessing this was around 2nd grade.

There were 3 stalls in the restroom we would use. One day I was in one of the stalls, and heaven knows why, I wondered what would I....

kept the stall door locked....

crawled underneath the opening at the bottom of the stall door....

and went back to class.

Yes, I did. I don't know why. I don't know what my thinking was. If I thought it would be fun...if I thought....anything at all. I have NO idea why in the WORLD I did that....but SuperDave must have hated me. I can't see it being super easy on a grown man to get that stall door unlocked.

Sadest part is ... if I remember correctly ... I did it more than once!



Front Room Remodel

As some of you well know....we've been working on our front room for the last 3 weeks...tearing down the paneling (2 layers!), the drop ceiling, adding insulation where needed, drywalling the walls and ceiling (raising the ceiling about 2 feet). By we I don't mean Bob and me as much as my dad and his dad! The help has been unbelievable! I don't know what we would do without these men! I wanted to share the pics we have so far. We have it partially decorated now...but will finish in the next week or so. We need to add the trim still, the baseboards and pictures :)

Hope you like it!


Verses of the Day...

On my iGoogle page...I have BibleGateway's verse of the day. They actually give 3 verses...(not sure why)....but I love them! Here are today's.

Psalm 19:14
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

***Maybe God is telling me I shouldn't call people dumb. :) People aren't dumb...some people are dumb. ;) Kidding! (Well, sort of.) I believe the words you speak are a reflection of your heart...and I always want people to see God's light in me by the words I speak.

2 Samuel 7:22
“How great you are, O Sovereign LORD! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears.”

***God is awesome. Above everything in this world. He is AMAZING. If you don't know Him...I wish you would.

Romans 12:2
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

***This world is an awful, horrible, evil deceptive....but when you accept Christ you are are made new. Inside and out. The world tests you...but knowing that God is greater than this awful place...knowing that His will is greater than somehow makes it all worth it.

My Lord, my are amazing. I praise you for your Holiness, God. Thank you that this world is not my home....because if all I had was this evil place to look to, and nothing more, I don't think I could continue, God. Thank you for saving me with your amazing Grace. May I give you my All, Lord.

A Rant!

I know it's not very polite or Christian of me to say that people are dumb....but I am going to say it anyway.

People are dumb!

Bobby's car got broken into (for the third time!)....why? Because people are dumb.

A young boy lost his life Sunday in a shooting...why? Because people are dumb. He was shot over taking a bale of hay.

Scientists say we should be able to marry robots by 2050...why? Because people will. Why? Because people are dumb.

I'm sorry...but I look at the things that go on around us day to day...and this is my conclusion. The things we all care about...the things we focus on...when our focus should be on God. It should be on the things that DO matter after this life is over. I cannot take anything with me. I cannot believe that someone will go to prison over a bale of hay. A bale of hay! The things that matter to us in this's sad really. Fast forward to the end of your could be could be 50 years from now....and what matters to you? Your possessions? Your job? Your money? Your house? Your car? I am willing to bet no. We should all focus on the things that should really, truly matter to us. The people in our lives. The God that created us.


Bob's Confession # 3

Ok, so I thought I would write a quick confession on here. This is pretty embarrasing.

I ran a stop sign one time. Maybe you've done that too. I wasn't paying enough attention. What distracted me?

I was too busy rapping to some CD I had in and completely missed that I needed to stop. I flew through that intersection and luckily didn't hurt anyone - including myself.

This further proves that me and rap music are like oil and water...


Slow Fade

I love Casting Crowns. They are by far the most awesome group in Christian music (and of course any other kind of music!). Where alot of Christian music is "feel good" music (which is still fine), Casting Crowns calls out not only the sinner...but the Christian. They keep the Christian on track. They constantly make a Christian re-evaluate themselves. The song "Slow Fade" was stuck in my head yesterday. Sin will envelope you before you realize it if you are not careful.

Slow Fade

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself awayP
eople never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see



It's been TOO long since some of you got to see her! Here are some more recent pictures! She's crawling everywhere, "cruising" along the teeth yet though!

Experience It for Yourself

Pastor spoke this week from 1 Peter...and pointed out something that I had never even considered before.

1 Peter 1:12 says:

It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things.

You'd have to read the entire chapter to get the idea of the verse itself...but the emphasis on the last line....that is a very important line.

Peter is speaking of salvation. Angels do not know what it is to experience salvation. To feel that conviction, that calling of your heart, that desire to know Him. That feeling that no matter what KNOW what's going to happen. That feeling that your life is about MORE. More than anything this world can offer. Pastor pointed out that angels are not witnesses because they cannot testify as to what God did for them through salvation. They reside in Heaven. They worship God. But they have not experienced SALVATION.

I have. I could explain the feeling to you. I could explain it to this day, for I remember that day like no other. I cannot tell you the date, but the date doesn't matter to me. That change in my heart and in my life...that's what matters to me. I could explain to you how my heart was thumping so hard in my chest that I thought it would burst. That I felt that if I didn't walk up to that altar that very moment that something amazing was going to pass me by. That going to that altar released so much from me that I didn't know I was carrying, and gave me something that I cannot put into words. I completely let go....

But if you haven't experienced that then you just won't understand.

If you don't understand...then I pray that someday you will. Then it will all make sense.

Confession #69

I was thinking of various work situations....

It was Oct. 15 a few years ago (deadline day at work). It was mid-afternoon...and all of a sudden I realized that my dress pants had slit right up the backside. Who knows how long they had been that way or how many had noticed. I quickly grabbed my sweater hanging on the back of my chair and tied it around my waist. Ugh. Stupid pants!

One day I was walking past our front counter...and my shoe got caught in my pant leg...and down I went! Of course, lucky for me the only people that saw were ... 5 employees and a client. :) Sense the sarcasm???

When I was pregnant with Maleah last year, I tripped and fell up the stairs. It terrified me but luckily there was a hand rail and I grabbed it and hit my back and not my belly. (I wasn't showing was early on.) graceful!


Why, Why, Why???

I received this from a co-worker...Thought it was worth sharing...I got a good laugh!

Why, Why, Why...

-Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead? - Guilty!

-Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

-Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

-Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

-Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

-Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

-Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

-Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

-Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

-If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

-Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

-Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? - Double Guilty!

-Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? - Yep, done that too!

-Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

-How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

-When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

-Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

-In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

-And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's YOU!! - It's DEFINATELY me!


Confession #68

Olive Juice

Bob and I love the movie "The Other Sister". We watched it alot a few years ago and if you've ever seen it, there's the part about Olive Juice. From far away when someone can't hear you, you mouth "Olive Juice" and it looks like "I Love You". Bob and I love quoting shows and movies and goofing around. One day I looked at him (he was definately within ear shot) and I said, in an exaggerated voice, ORANGE JUICE! He looked at me like I was totally nuts...then I realized that I said the wrong juice! Whoops! :)



Sorry I haven't been posting. I'm so ashamed! I've had the week off with Maleah...and she's had it rough...not alot of time for me to get on here! She's napping now...has been for 45 min...and she's been so off schedule it's hard to tell when she's going to wake up. My guess would have to be right in the middle of this blog!

She's so awesome. We've been having alot of fantastic Mommy/Maleah time. I don't know how I'm ever going to go back to work next week!

We're working on our front room this week. Starting tomorrow....thanks to my awesome dad! Hopefully everything goes very smoothly!

I'll blog more later if I can! I've got some confessions to write!


Bob's Confessions #2

I get angry over dumb stuff.

You could take that two ways. Either I get annoyed over things that are, in fact, stupid things... Or, it is stupid that I let my self get angry over small things. Both are accurate in my case.

Things that are dumb annoy me. Stupid commercials annoy me. Idiotic emails annoy me. I read a fax - not even meant for me - that annoyed me.

Ok, so the fax had a newspaper story about Cancun being the #1 vacation spot and the last line is "We can't be partial as a newspaper, but there is one company online who offers round trip to Cancun for $300". That part is circled and they write, "That's us. Give us a call at...". I go look online at the paper's website. That story does not exist! Ugh! Why does that make me mad?

Probably because I hate deception and any form of it. Lying, trickery, or tom foolery of any kind is intolerable to me.

I digress. In any case it is dumb that I let dumb stuff get to me... How's that for irony?


Confession #67


I was talking to a co-worker Angie about spelling in school and it reminded me of a particular 3rd grade incident that happened...

We were working on our spelling words in Mrs. Graves' 3rd grade class (I remember the pod like it was yesterday!). One of the words we had on our list was "heart". Me, being the logical, and supposedly literal, person that I am, went straight up to Mrs. Graves at her desk and told her that Ronnie (another boy in class) was spelling his name wrong. She asked why. I told her heart is spelled H-E-A-R-T and his last name was "Rinehart".

I felt dumb when she told me that he was right, that names could be different. It was a sad feeling... :(

Oh yeah...and speaking of spelling, it really bothers me that a child's toy is spelled playskool because I think it teaches kids to misspell the word "school". Also, why does the "R" in Toys 'R Us have to backwards???? That doesn't teach kids anything either! I'm done!


She is 8 months old today!

8 MONTHS!!!!!

I CANNOT believe it!!!

She's beautiful! She's crawling....she's saying "Mom" and "Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba"....blowing raspberries...cutting teeth (not that one has popped through yet)...only wants her bug SOMETIMES....loves her "lovey" (burpcloth)...did I mention she's crawling...eating big girl food...putting on weight...long enough for 12 month clothes....growing, growing, growing....and not to mention crawling! :)

I love her sooooo much. She's sooooo awesome!!!!!!!


Confession #66

Johnny's Head...

When Little Johnny was a baby...I saw someone (I think Uncle Johnny) carrying him around on a pillow. He'd hold it out lengthwise in front of him and Little Johnny would sleep on it. I remember specifically it was Bobby's hard, fat and lumpy pillow with the Ninja Turtle pillowcase. Anyhow, one day Johnny fell asleep and I did the exact same thing I had seen Uncle Johnny do...I carried him EXACTLY the same way...only when I did it, my arms weren't long enough because I was still VERY young and Whoops! He just sort of slid off the pillow and sort of landed on his head! I don't think I did too much damage!

And, NO, I do NOT carry Maleah this way! ;)


Bob's Confessions #1

Miranda asked me to start doing my own "confession" posts on Fridays. She, in turn, will be doing the 3BT (Three Beautiful Things) on my blog. So here goes nothing...

My first confession is probably one of my most embarrassing. It is all about music.

First of all, I used to love rap music. Not just any rap music, but particularly "East Coast" rap. I loved Puff Daddy (aka P. Diddy, aka Diddy, aka Puff Diddy-do-it, etc.), Ma$e, Notorious B.I.G., and an occasional Jay Z "joint"... Sorry. Anyhow... that was my music. I stopped when 1) I realized that I'm a Christian that shouldn't be listening to it and 2) I looked in the mirror.

Secondly, and most embarrassing... boy bands. nSYNC and 98 Degrees were my favorites. I actually purchased an nSYNC cd (the one with Bye, Bye, Bye) and told the clerk "my girlfriend is making me buy it". I am ashamed. I still do this day believe that vocally that was a great cd and had some really catchy tunes. Either way, I no longer own it. 98 Degrees was at least somewhat respectable because they were men. If this provides any redemption I never liked the Backstreet Boys! They were just goofy.

Miranda still claims that the worse one of all that I liked was a group called Plus One. I thought I could listen to them because they were a Christian group. They also were on the Disney channel music videos. They also really don't sing too many "Christian" songs.

That's it. Mock accordingly...



Mary Winkler murdered her husband. She was convicted of voluntary manslaughter and served five months in jail with two months in a mental-health treatment facility.

I'm sorry....does this seem right to anyone?

Forget the details of the situation...what "made" her do it. They don't matter. The point is she killed her husband. MURDERED HIM. All she gets is 5 months in jail???

Somehow, I think if the situation were reversed...the husband would NOT see freedom again...atleast not for a LONG, LONG time.


#49 Baby!!!

I just thought it worth reporting that in the poll....Michigan is sitting at #49!!! :)

I'm not being mean, I'm just saying....



Apparently I'm the only one that does it...and everyone else is fascinated by it! :) Kidding! But I must be the only one brave enough to blog about it!

Here are the phrases people have searched for and found my blog....

peeing blog
peeing incident
"had to pee" "hold it"
"couldn't hold it" pee
"pee soooo bad"
"had to pee"
"had to"+"so bad"+"couldn't hold it"
people love to pee

Apparently I now have the "peeing blog"....Hey, if my peeing confessions help atleast ONE person then I have succeeded! :)

I left this in there that someone searched just because it made me giggle:
why does my dog run around the house after taking a bath?

I assume they found me through "bath" but who knows! :)


Michigan Geared Up for Loss #3???

I found this earlier today in an online newspaper...I'd link to it but I lost the link already...

When asked what was wrong with the offense Saturday, tailback Mike Hart was direct.
"Obviously, in the second half, it's easy (to explain)," he said. "Chad wasn't in there."
Later, he made the statement of the week, the month and his career.
"We're going to win next week, there's no question in my mind. I'm going to get this team ready, guaranteed," Hart said.
That's when he was asked the qualifier: What if you don't have Chad?
"That's a different game plan," he said, rethinking his statement. "I think Ryan can get the job done. With the game plan we had today, it was fostered toward Chad. It was a lot more complicated stuff. When you have a freshman come in and expect to do what Chad does, it's not going to happen for him."


I'm a HUGE OSU fan...Ohio State is in a year where there's a new QB in town...expected to fill the shoes of Heisman winner Troy Smith. Troy made it all look so easy....and even though Boeckman is struggling, making mistakes and learning from them...the team has pulled together and is currently still winning in the process. The same cannot be said for the 0-2 Michigan Wolverines.

Ah, Mike Hart....where to begin....

Do you really put ALL of your team failures on one man? There's no "I" in "team" and there's no "team" in Mike Hart. Sure, the letters are there (MikE hArT)....but the attitude is not. You blame your QB for your loss because he's not in the game....that covers week 2...but what happened in week 1, Hart??? How do you explain that loss??? You weren't ready? You needed a do-over?

What I believe Mr. Hart has just accomplished in his statement regarding next week's game against Notre Dame is getting Notre Dame fired up to kick some rear-end. Weis is missing his wanna-be dreamboat football star so bad...(that's Brady Quinn by the way)...and he's itching to win a football game.

Will this be a win for the Wolverines??? Or did Mike Hart just seal the loss in game #3???

Guess time will tell....

Meanwhile.....GO BUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!


Confession #65

The weather controls my mood...too much according to Bob...but what do you do???

If it's a hot, sunny day (as we've had too many of) I get very down.

If it's hot and cloudy....I'm a little perkier.

If it's cool and spirits are very high.

If it's cold and sunny I'm not too happy.

If it's cold and snowing I'm good.

If it's hot and windy I'm good (today for sure).

When the thunderstorms roll in, I'm down right ecstatic!

I love thunderstorms to the point that they make me giddy. It makes me sad to see a thunderstorm headed towards us...and then it dissipates. I don't care for the "dangerous" type...but the wind, drop in humidity, thunder, lightening and wind-driven rain is very nice. :) I just love them!

Cloudy days make me happy...

I love the sound of rain...but really only like rain if it accompanies a thunderstorm or if it's a nice lazy day at home with the rain coming down.

It's a mix of sun and clouds on the 90+ degree day today....but there IS a chance of thunderstorms...My hopes aren't too high....but if they do come through, I'll be SO EXCITED! :) Woo-hoo!!!


Prayer & Tears

It's a good thing, a great thing, a FANTASTIC thing!!! It's not a bad thing. Some people see it as a weakness. I say I AM WEAK. God gives me strength...I give myself nothing. I pray and I cry. I pray and I don't. Crying is certainly NOT a weakness. It's an emotion. I may cry while talking to God...for the blessings He has given seek comfort during a time of pray for those that need salvation. I may hear a song that touches my heart...Holy Ground is one...and I may cry. I may stop whatever I am doing and sit in the presence of God. And cry. Does that make me a "lost" person...a"tortured soul"...??? Absolutely not. It's crying that brings to light the joy in a world filled with so much pain. There's more to life than THIS. And for that I am thankful.

So to you who feel that crying and praying is a person who is tortured, lost and in pain...

You are wrong!

Inexperience doesn't make you right.

Praise the Lord that He is above all of this!!!


Confession #64

My favorite things....

I have my favorite things...and I am weird about using them. Shocker, right?

Forks. At my mom's house and at our house...I have favorite forks. The tongs are more pointy than most of the other forks in the drawer...and even if they're all the way at the bottom I will dig for them to use instead of whatever's available.

Bowls. We use plastic bowls at our house. We have 2 colors, a teal color and a deep blue. I like the deep blue. So Bob is nice enough he always uses the other ones and lets me have what I like! Oh, yeah, and I stack them weird. There are 4 pretty deep blue ones and 3 teal they have to be stacked alternating colors...if I see they're placed wrong in the cabinet, I fix them. :)

Maleah's Bowls. Oh, yes, I have my favorite colors there too. I prefer to feed her out of the pretty purple ones and then the pink ones and save the green and blue ones for someone else to use. No offense to the other person...I just feel like if I'm feeding her out of what I think are the BEST bowls then I'm somehow giving her the best. Stacy tends to get my least favorite ones...the bright purple, bright pink, and blue ones. Sorry, Stac.

Maleah's Spoons. Yeah, that wasn't bad enough. I also prefer to feed Maleah with the pretty purple and pretty pink spoons. BUT I cannot feed her out of the pretty purple bowl with the pretty purple spoon...I try to put the pink spoon with the purple bowl and the purple spoon with the pink bowl.

Maleah's Bottles. Who knew I was this bad? She has pretty, I mean PRETTY, bottles in lavender, sea green, and teal. She also has bottles in dark purple and bright yellow. I first have to line them up by color when I wash them. The dark purple then light purple then green, sea green, teal, light blue, dark blue. The yellow comes first because it blends with NOTHING. I also like to feed her with the prettiest of the bottles. SO when I line them up Stacy usually is feeding Maleah with the yellow or purple bottles. If not Stacy, it's Bob. I LOVE feeding Maleah with the lavender bottles...they're my FAVORITE.

I'm sure Stacy has realized some of these tendencies by now. She gets the ugly yellow bottles, and the yellow and orange spoons with the blue or bright pink/purple bowls....It's no offense to her at all, I'm just that obsessive...who knew?

Well, Bob did. But he loves me anyway, thank goodness!



I miss her. I miss her so much. My heart breaks when I hear someone speak her name. It's been so long...and yet not long enough. I still remember all to well the feelings and the hurt and the pain...even today I cannot reflect too much because it hurts so badly. But she's a beautiful angel now. Above anything in this world...she is dwelling with God and someday I know I will be with her...

I explain to Maleah what the tree in the backyard is for. She has a big sister who is watching over her. Someday she'll understand....

God has a plan above anything we can expect or plan for ourselves. Don't ask 'why' when something happens...because it will all be revealed in God's time. And you can find comfort in that. I have. I didn't want the loss. I didn't ask for it. I only expected it in my own fearful mind. But it happened. And I trust God in the "why" there's no need to ask.

I praise Him for all the blessings and the hardships. I heard a quote this weekend:

"Without a test you have no testimony."

God has put me through a test...and because I have trusted Him I now have a testimony...and can help others in need.

Thank you Lord for that blessing.

Confession #63

Dress Shoes

When I was little, I loved dress shoes. I loved to hear my teachers walk across the classroom with their dress shoes on...because I loved the sound they made on the tile floor. I wanted to be a teacher someday, so I was envious. I would jump at wearing my dress shoes anytime I got the chance, and I would walk anywhere that they would make noise. I would find reasons to walk in the basement...walk outside...I loved Easter because we always got a dressy outfit, which meant I got to wear my noisy shoes!

One time, my dad was working on the kitchen floor...the carpet foam had been glued to the tile underneath and he had to scrape it free. As he scraped, more and more tile flooring became visible underneath. So when he finally got it all done, I got on my nightgown, got out my dress shoes, and started walking! I walked on that floor in those dress shoes so proud...I am sure I looked like an idiot...but I was walking in my noisy shoes, so I didn't care!

In the 5th grade, I was selected with a few other students to make a trip with our principal, Mr. Ervin, to OU-C for a special project each week for a month. One week myself and another girl decided we were going to dress up. I got to school that day and she wasn't it was just me and 3 boys going to OU-C. I tried to get out of it, pretending I had a headache...whatever I could do to NOT have to go...but I had to go anyhow. :( We were walking down the hallway, and one of the boys, John, turned to me in my nice, noisy dress shoes and said to me that I was being too loud in them. I became so self-conscious that I never wanted to wear them after that for fear of drawing attention to myself. :( It ruined all the fun now that I wear them to work everyday! AND not to mention, my mom and dad now have hardwood floors all through the house...for all the noisy walking pleasure a girl could ask for!!!


Confession #62

One night Bob and I were outside after dark standing by my was a beautiful night and you could see so many stars in the sky. It was BEAUTIFUL. Then in the neighbors yard we started hearing footsteps...something moving through the grass. We got really still and quiet...and listened...It stopped and then we could hear it more...getting closer....closer...but we couldn't see anything because the moon wasn't out. Then we started hearing it make a weird throat noise...and it got closer and closer...and got faster and faster....

It was.........


We felt so silly...but we got a huge laugh out of it! We were frightened by a baby deer. Not this one...but isn't he cute???

Confession #61

Sorry....thought this was already posted! Melissa's...we were cleaning up the house. Her mom and George were out for the night on a we were just having fun. We ALWAYS cleaned her house. So we were cleaning out the fridge and there was an open bottle of strawberry wasn't a big bottle, and it looked like a drink had been taken out of it. We were getting ready to dump it, when Melissa decided we should drink it. I didn't want to...but when your BFF wants to do do it. So we took turns taking drinks of it until it was gone. Then we pretended we were "drunk" off of it...because you were supposed to be drunk after drinking alcohol. All I did was overexert myself and wear myself out for an early bedtime. We weren't drunk. We were probably extra stupid and it was probably non-alcoholic anyhow. We just thought we were SOOO daring and courageous that we would be so brave to drink such a thing!

I wasn't drunk. That was the only alcohol I've ever had (if it WAS alcohol) and I have NEVER had nor wanted to have any since.

Again....I am SOOOO sorry! That's the end, I promise!

Now....aren't we glad that Melissa and I didn't stay friends???


Dippin' Strips are Back Baby!

Yeah!!! Woo-hoo!!! I am so excited! Dippin' Strips are an awesome food from Pizza Hut. They are a pizza, with regular pizza toppings, sliced breadstick style with 3 dipping sauces - ranch, garlic, and marinara. They are AWESOME! We haven't had any in a long time because they're "limited time only" (huge eye roll here from me). :) They are SOOOO good! You MUST try them if you haven't already. They are tonight's dinner....and I am so excited!

You can order them at or you can call locally and order them!


Oh...and did I mention that I'm excited? Because I am EX-CI-TED!


Sin is not Justifiable

I was reading a news story about a man who was convicted of a 4th degree felony. That got me thinking of how we rate crimes depending on how bad we think they are. There's 1st degree murder, 2nd degree....there's manslaughter, there's involuntary manslaughter. A man who kills his wife is punished more harshly than a woman who murders her husband....we GRADE everything. I may have cheated on my spouse...but that's not AS BAD as someone who commits atleast I'm not AS BAD as that person...etc, etc, etc.

That got me thinking about sin. Sin is the same in God's eyes no matter what it is. My lying is just as bad as someone else's adultery. God doesn't RATE sin.

James 2:10
For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.

That's a hard concept for us to wrap our minds around. I heard an analogy once that I thought was fantastic...and it really put it into perspective for me.

If you take a box of crayons and look at it from the front, some are totally worn down, some have been used a bit, and some not at all. They all look different. BUT if you take that same box, and hold it and look down at the crayons, they all look the same.

That is how God sees sin, it's all the same. Don't go through life thinking "I may have done [this], but "So & So" did [this much worse thing] because then you are justifying your sin through comparison. It doesn't work that way. Sin is not justifiable. Not by a long shot. So just don't try to do it!

Today's Confessions

I posted 2. I had to post 2 because I knew my mom would want to read them together. They are my deepest "confessions".

I just ask that you remember that this was 12 years ago!

Confession #60

Melissa stories....they get WORSE....apparently being an awesome friend doesn't mean she was a fantastic influence!

Again, to my mom, this is the WORST thing I've ever done and not told you about....I am sorry!

In 9th grade I had a "boyfriend" for a month named Junior. Well, his real name was Kevin...but hey, Junior fits. We were "boyfriend/girlfriend" for a month...though I barely said a word to him during the day. He lived across the street from Melissa. I was feeling the pressure that I should have my first kiss...I had a boyfriend...Melissa had a boyfriend...she'd been kissed...why not me? So I concocted this brilliant idea in my head...I would "accidentally" miss the school bus and then go to Melissa's house until someone could pick me up. Easy enough plan. The problem? I never added in my plans to call my mom after the bus left and let her know I was walking home with Melissa. So I finally got ahold of her when we got to Melissa's (no kiss, by the way - which was FINE WITH ME after all!) and I called my mom. I heard the fear in her voice, and then realized the biggest part of the entire mistake that I had made, and felt like the poo stuck to the gum stuck to the bottom of an old shoe sitting in a dumpster just waiting to be tossed out for good. It sucked. I terrified her, made a really dumb mistake, hurt her, hurt myself...and all for NOTHING. Literally. I think we broke up the next week anyhow.


Again, I'm so sorry I never fessed up to this sooner. I feel like a heal. I promise the next one is the last!

Confession #59

Speaking of's another one...

I apologize to my mom before she even reads this...This is one of a couple deep confessions I've been holding onto....

One other time I stayed at Melissa's house and we were going to the movies. I had never been on a date before, and we were going to be sneaky and have her mom drop us off at the theatre, where we would meet up with Melissa's boyfriend Matt and my "date" Scott. We were on our way...I wasn't too happy...It was going to be a "date" but I didn't even KNOW the dude...and it became increasingly obvious that her mom was tagging along. We stopped at McDonald's, bought the food and her mom hid it in her purse. From there we went to the movies, where she stayed with us.

We walked in, and there were the guys (nope, Melissa's mom didn't know about Matt at that point either), so we darted into the bathrooms where we hid until her mom went ahead into the movie theatre. Then we told the guys we couldn't sit with them and that we were sorry (still didn't know the dude at ALL).

So my all technical first "date" included not talking to the dude and him sitting 3 rows in front of me with my best friend's boyfriend.

Thankfully I never got to know him. I don't think he was my type anyhow. :)

Oh, and I'm sorry I never told you this before!



Nope, not the TV show. Shocking, I know!

I love my friends. I don't have a ton of them...but the ones that I do have are awesome. Friends are very amazing. They laugh with you, cry with you, and when you're having a rough time...they are there for you. I have amazing friends...I don't know what I would do without them!

P.S. I also love "Friends". Have all 10 seasons on DVD. There's no better night spent than pizza and "Friends" with Bob...We have our favorite episodes we watch over and over again...

"The one that could have been"
"The one with Rachel's assistant"
"The one where they're up all night"

Just to name a few! :) If you haven't watched it you should. If you have, then watch it again! Just for fun! Bec's family and Bob and myself are the only Friends Freaks I know! :)


Confession #58

This one's for Matt!

One night I was staying at my friend Melissa's house...and we were listening to request and dedication on WKKJ. We kept trying to call in and request a song and we could NOT get through...So we started thinking of alternative methods to get through to the radio station. WAIT JUST A SECOND! we thought. It's a LOCAL station! So what did we do? We got the phone book...called the local number...and requested our favorite song! The problem? We had NO CLUE how radio stations worked and didn't realize it was a NATIONAL call-in show. So we felt like idiots...and just had to keep calling and calling until we got through!

Man, we were idiots!




1. compassionate feelings that support a willingness to forgive
2. the act of excusing a mistake or offense

No one deserves forgiveness, but everyone should be given it. Not forgiving someone only hurts yourself. Without offering forgiveness to those that have hurt us, we are not willing to experience the ultimate forgiveness that God allows us through the death of Christ on the cross. WE put Christ there. WE nailed his hands and feet to that cross. WE killed him. Through our sins. But what do we find? Forgiveness. Because we are loved by God that much. So then why is it that when someone hurts us, wrongs us, that we cannot extend that same unfailing forgiveness to them? Maybe you think they don't deserve forgiveness. But neither do you. Neither do ANY of us. We all need it. No matter what we've done. Through forgiveness we can begin to feel the unfailing love that God has for each and every one of us.

And let me also leave this verse:

Matthew 7:3-4
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

Dare we refuse to forgive someone for the very thing that we have done to them??? THAT is a hypocrite.


A New Favorite

I just wanted to tell everyone of a new favorite drink I've been making. I like milk alot, but sometimes white milk is just plain bland. SO I have started adding Fat-Free French Vanilla creamer to it. It's awesome! :)

Just wanted to share!


Watered Down

Pastor was speaking yesterday on how some Christians today are watered down. They're afraid of offending someone, anyone, everyone...they're afraid of stepping on toes and conscious of being PC about everything. He pointed out yesterday that Christianity is not PC. Thank you, Pastor! How funny that I had JUST posted that this past week. People are afraid to tell someone they're a sinner, to talk about sin, to talk about death, hell, anything "negative". They want the message to be positive. Well, what's more positive than my Savior dying on the cross for MY sins so that I could live eternally in Heaven? He died out of love. For me. And YOU.

Maybe not everyone likes that they have to tell someone when they're living in sin. Maybe not everyone likes that there are consequences for their actions, for their lifestyle. But you know what? That doesn't matter. Like it or not, it is what it is. God is God. Jesus is His Son, he died for you, and whether you accept that or not, he STILL died for you. People are afraid to tell someone that Jesus Christ IS THE way to Heaven...because some say it's not fair to say there's only one way.

I praise God that there is a way. I am undeserving. Like everyone else, I am a sinner. I am. You are. We ALL are. God didn't have to provide a way out. He didn't HAVE to sacrifice Jesus on that cross. But He did. Because He loves us. He loves me. He loves you.

My life is God's. I REFUSE to be watered down. I will step on toes. I will not be PC. I will tell you how much He loves you. I will remind you that Jesus died for you. I will not be too pushy, and push you away. I will pray for you. I will not apologize for my faith.

It is amazing when you trust the Lord...when you give Him your life. I hope that if you are reading this and you don't know Him, that you will.

Confession #57

I used to feel left out...shocker, right?

You see, I thought that Bobby was SOOO lucky because he had TWO middle names, whereas I had just ONE. You see, I heard in the house often enough...


I seriously thought Bobby was his first name, Paul and Robert were middle names, and then of course the last name.

The things we don't know......


Confession #56

I was never good at flirting...So it's a good thing that I found Bob when I did. It's honestly a wonder he stuck with me. My flirting capabilities were ZERO. I was like Ross on "Friends"...

Caitlin: Pizza delivery!

Ross: I'll get it! I will get that! (Runs over and opens the door.)

Caitlin: Hi!

Ross: Hi!

Caitlin: One uh, vegetarian pizza. That's $12.15.

Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.

Caitlin: What?!

Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.

Caitlin: Oh. Thanks.

Ross: You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.

Caitlin: Y'know, all I'm looking for is the money.

Chandler: Here you go. (Hands her the money.) Now stop bringing us pizzas you.

Caitlin: I'm gonna try. (Walks away and Ross closes the door.)

....and later it continues....

Caitlin: (from outside) Pizza!

Ross: (running to the door) Oh, mine! Mine! Mine! (to everyone) Okay, here goes. Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting.

Chandler: Okay, hold on. (Pauses as he readies himself.) Okay. (Walks away.)

Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to… (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)

Ross: You'll see. Okay. (Readies himself.) Oh, what's-what's her name?

All: Caitlin!

Grandma Tribbiani: Caitlin!

Ross: (He opens the door while faking a laugh.) Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this. (Monica turns her head in shame.)

Caitlin: It's uh, $12.50.

Ross: Okay, (gets the money) so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens?

Caitlin: No actually umm, I think that they're umm, gas.

Ross: Gas? Wow! Intense.

Chandler: (To Monica) If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem.

Ross: (to Caitlin) Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has?

Caitlin: (wanting more than anything to get the money and leave this horrible, horrible place) Yeah.

Ross: They put that in.

Caitlin: What?!

Ross: The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.

Caitlin: (getting more desperate to leave) Well okay!

Ross: A lot of other gas smells…

Chandler: Oh the humanity.

Ross: Meth-methane smells…

Caitlin: Y'know what umm, actually I, I really, I should go.

Ross: Oh but I-I-I haven't paid you yet!

Caitlin: Y'know what? That's okay, you guys have ordered so many that this one is on me! (Runs for her life.)

(Ross closes the door slowly.) now that you get the picture of how bad I really was at it, I will demonstrate. In 7th grade I liked this boy, Phil. We were in the same home-ec class. I wanted to talk to him but didn't know what to I thought and thought and thought of a lead-in to a conversation. I thought...I'm skinny...he's skinny...he has really small wrists like I do. SO the light bulb goes off in my head...people are always putting their fingers around my wrist...I'll do that to him! So one day, nervous as could be, I got up the courage to go to him, I grabbed his wrist and made a comment about how small it was. That was as far as the conversation went. I wasn't made fun of or anything (thank goodness) I just got a puzzled look, a "yeah" and that was the end of that.

Bob, thank you for making it easy on me! :)


Confession #55


We all look forward to vacation, don't we? Time to get away...away from school...away from work...relax...enjoy yourself...Well, that's the vacation I WANTED to have...It didn't turn out that way.

It was the summer of '96. I was so excited, we were going to the beach! My 2nd trip to the beach ever. AND to make things even more awesome, I got to take my best friend, Melissa, with me! WOO-HOO! We got there on a Saturday...Topsail Island, NC. Ahhhhhh...such a WONDERFUL place! Melissa and I were up early Sunday, as was everyone else, ready to have a FANTASTIC week. We applied our suntan lotion...and started with a long walk on the beach. When we got back, we grabbed a sandwich and went out to play in the water. We even made "butt holes" in the sand with Patty...Just divits where our butts were sitting. It was SOOO much fun!

By the end of the day we were worn out, and burnt. We didn't think it was that bad at was BAD! Neither one of us had remembered to REAPPLY our suntan lotion throughout the day. We could barely bend our knees to walk up the stairs it hurt so bad. SO I spent Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday inside. Nauseated. Hurting. Sad.

Finally, on Thursday, I was able to go back outside (cautiously). I was so excited! The fun was going to begin again! I was walking down the deck to our beach, when OWWWWW!!!!!! I hit my toe on the deck rung. It hurt SOOOOO bad. I can tolerate pain, I had Maleah with no epidural...and this was PAIN-FUL! It was so bad I couldn't walk. My mom and dad had to take me to the doctor on the island...and yep, I sprained my toe. Doesn't sound too bad...but in some instances a sprain is worse than a break. I couldn't walk. :( I couldn't walk on flat surfaces, and I DEFINATELY couldn't walk on sand or stand in the ocean. I was miserable!

And to top it all great friend Melissa...she spent the whole week writing to her boyfriend back home. Blech!

Lesson to learn here??? Vacations aren't all they're cracked up to be!


Stepping on Toes

My good friend Chelsea said it best when she said "I am TIRED of being the quiet Christian. There is a better way, a more effective way, to do what God has put me here to do. Why am I wasting time not stepping on toes?"

She got me thinking....As Christians we SHOULD be stepping on toes. It's imperative in our Christian walk to not sit on the side and be the quiet Christian. We do not have to worry about following the PC guidelines...because Christianity in and of itself is not PC anymore. So toes....prepare to be stepped on!

There's this thing called the Romans Road to Salvation. Romans is a wonderful, incredible, awesome book in the Bible. See if any of the statements pertain to you and see your answers through God's word...

But I've done too many bad things....or....I've seen how the christians act, I'm better than that!....

Romans 3:10 - As it is written: "There is no one righteous, not even one."

But I'm a good person....or....I don't do bad things....

Romans 3:23 - "...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..."

Come on, I won't go to hell....or....You're telling me that if I don't believe what you're Bible says, that's it for me?....

Romans 6:23 - "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

And you're saying Christ died for me?....or....He didn't even know me!....

Romans 5:8 - "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

So how does this whole thing work?....

Romans 10:9-10 - "That if you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord', and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."

So it's that simple?...

Romans 10:13 - "...for, 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved'.

The ABC's:

A - Admit that you are a sinner.
B - Believe that Jesus Christ is God's Son, was a sinless man who conquered death that we may have eternal life.
C - Confess your sins and accept him into your heart.


Here's the thing. We're all sinners. I'm no better than anyone else. None of us are. Salvation is attainable for anyone who opens their heart to God and is willing to step out in faith and trust Him. Please do that today. If you don't know Christ as your personal Savior, consider the words above. Open the book of Romans and read through. It's AMAZING how much God loves us. Step out and feel that love. Open your heart to Him and BELIEVE. It's incredible. He loves you SOOO much.

Confession #54

Remember when you read this...Confession is good for the soul, BAD for the reputation. Also one is perfect.

What Gives Me the Right???

I have a coworker that our personalities do not match at all. She's a different type of person than I am completely. We went to school together...and weren't friends then. Sometimes I find her annoying...and I tend to snub her. Not meanly, I just don't talk to her that much. I've not been super nice to her for some time now, if ever at all. What gives me the right to be that way???? Nothing. I am to be my best to everyone I meet. She has done NOTHING to me. I am ashamed of the person I have been towards her. Now I will change. Now I will be different. I will be who God would expect me to be. Though I don't agree with what she does or says all of the time, if I am not who God wants me to be, how will she ever see the wrongs? Does she see God's love in me? Does my attitude witness to her? I'm sure no, definately not often enough. I vow to be different. It's up to me to be willing.

Lord, I am willing.


Confession #53

When we were younger there was always something we wanted to be when we "grew up". Some wanted to be a firefighter (Bob), some a superhero, some teachers, soldiers, doctors....the list could go on and on. Some achieved their dreams, sticking to what they wanted to be from the beginning. Others later decided that such a field wasn't suited for them. I am one of THOSE people.

When I was little, I wanted to be.................a cook on TV. :) That's right. A cook on TV. That's not SO bad, I guess. But do you want to know WHY I wanted to be a cook on TV? Because I like to crack eggs open. I like the sound the shell makes as it separates. I love the way the yolk falls into the bowl in which you are preparing your mixture. I thought that job would be SOOOO AWESOME! Of course, it became a reality, because you can't get paid for baking frozen pizzas or macaroni on TV....which is the extent of some of my cooking ability. :)

So I became a bookkeeper instead. :) Thank goodness!


Confession #52

I feel that since my last post was in regards to grammar, that I ought to confess my flaws....

Bob caught me saying that someone is "being have" instead of "behaving" as if "have" is what you are doing. Even a grammar lover like myself isn't perfect! :)

Oh, and for Bec, I'll confess this...I also leave the -ing off of my words sometimes, and instead of saying something is "printing" I say it is "printin'". I apologize. :)

Overall I do ok though....


Confession #51

I love grammar. I love editing things and finding errors in books. I was reading a Christian fiction novel a few years ago called 'The Oath' and I flagged every page I found an error on...I think it ended up being 50 pages total. So what is my confession?

I get annoyed at people who put no effort into their speech/writing skills (or lack thereof). Am I talking about you? I doubt it. Well, unless you're Bob... :) No, some of it is writing and some of it is speaking....Examples:

it's = it is
its = its
I would not write "Its raining cats and dogs." It should say "It's raining cats and dogs." Why? Because it IS raining cats & dogs (well, not right now, but I WISH!)

you're = you are
your = your
I would not send someone a message and say "Your welcome" I would say "You're welcome." Why? Because you ARE welcome. :)

supposedly not supposably
Did Rachel go to the store? Supposably... NO! It's supposedly! It's that crazy appalachia speech that gets you!

have gone not have went
I have went to Kroger many times. NO!!! I have GONE to Kroger many times. I've noticed this one alot lately....Bob says it too often...I correct him constantly, but it never sticks!

it's pronounced:
WASHrag not WARSHrag
leash not lish
creek not crick

What is it that we cannot pronounce our E sounds? Must be that appalachia thing!

Thanks for listening! :)


Confession #50, Part 1

This is 50th confession. I'm doing part 1, Bob will take part 2...

The Grouse Nest

Bob and I decided years ago that we were going to begin taking a cabin trip the first weekend in May to Hocking Hills. It's a fantastic beautiful and peaceful. Our first year, we had gone hiking and bought some food for the cabin...but I just wasn't satisfied with frozen pizza and pop tarts. We wanted to be we set out to find the perfect mom and pop dining...something with some good home-cooking...a Bob Evans for the locals...Little did we know...

We remembered this particular sign just coming out of the area containing Cedar Falls as we were heading back to the cabin...It said The Grouse Nest and pointed us in the direction we needed to go. We figured that would be the perfect place to eat. I pictured rustic floors, little tables, checkered curtains...So we followed the signs, down this winding little one way gravel road...fear creeping in that we would never get back out.

We pulled up to this cute little restaurant all tucked away from everything...and we sat there....There were ZERO cars in the parking lot. It was dinner time and NO ONE was there. Should we turn around and try something else or attempt going to the door? I am one to run...but NO, we went to the door. Why come all this way and not go in? We walked in and looked around. Here I am wearing a mint green t-shirt with khaki capris and sneakers, Bob wearing a t-shirt and jean shorts, and this place has cloth table covers, cloth napkins, wine glasses...the works. Feeling so uncomfortable already, I was ready to bolt. But then comes the waitress. She asks us...get we have a reservation? A what? Reservation? We look around at the empty room (The Shining comes to mind) and Bob says no. No problem, she says. She sits us down and asks if we would like anything to drink. Water for both. Then she hands us our menus. It only gets worse. The menu stinks (not literally), nothing sounds remotely good to me, and the prices are OUTRAGEOUS. The waitress comes back, we say we need more time, and when she leaves the room, we bolt. I ran to the car, and I mean RAN, egging Bob to hurry up. There's no elegant way to casually leave an empty restaurant after being seated. I wanted to fly out of that parking lot as fast as I could. I was fearful someone would chase us, charging us for the water poured into the glasses. We could have just said we changed our minds...we had decided against the restaurant...but NOOOOO, that would have been uncomfortable (thick sarcasm here). So we just ran. I bet they thought two young kids couldn't pay for the meal.

Well, we ended up going to a tiny pizza place and ordering a pizza that took a good half hour to make.

Visit The Grouse Nest here.

It didn't end there gets better. They DID track us down...

Confession # 50, Part 2

Confession # 50, Pt 2.

As soon as we got back from the trip we were telling everyone the "Grouse's Nest" story. I was working at a call center for Adelphia at the time and told several of my co-workers. One person in particular, Tod, found it very funny. He made the comment that it would be funny if they tracked us down and charged us for something.

Picture a light bulb above my head glowing brightly.

I got off of work and sat down next to Miranda. We were talking about how our days went. A few minutes later the phone rings.

I answered the phone - as I usually do - and the voice on the other end said, "Mrs. Speakman, please". Right on time.

I handed the phone to her with a puzzled look on my face. She said "hello" and as she listened her eyes got bigger and bigger. Her jaw dropped as she thrusted the phone away from her face and towards me with so much force that I thought she'd hit me with it.

I got on the phone and pretended to be upset about the situation. After about a minute I revealed the truth. The person on the other end of the phone was none other than Tod.

What was he saying? Only that he was with the Grouse's Nest and that he got our license plate numbers and would be sending us a bill for a "seating fee and two waters". She looked sick when he said those words.

Thank you, Tod, for an enjoyable prank. We both appreciated it!



Confession Watch

Don't give up on me! I'm working on my big 50th confession...It's a good one. But it's going to take some composition time that I just don't have for a day or two. Keep watching for it though! Hint: It involves a nest, exercise and one great big laugh!


My Big Girl!

I am sitting here now as Maleah is sleeping in her bed. Unswaddled!!! This was her first night sleeping totally unswaddled since she was 4-5 weeks old! She'd had such a rough time with waking herself the swaddling continued. Last night, we put her in her sleeper and put her in bed and she seems so content sleeping on her little belly! She's just adorable. She woke up no more than any other night and where she used to get sooo warm on her back, I think her temperature is just fine! She seems so relaxed and so happy. It's probably the best sleep she's gotten in weeks!

I'm so proud of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"3T" - The Matrix, The Rapper, The Boxer

This was too adorable. Had to share with everyone! :)

The Matrix

The Rapper

The Boxer

There are no other words! Bet you're smiling now! :)


I think we all know negative people. Sure, we're all negative from time to time, but some people are negative ALOT. I found this article interesting. Give it a read if you have time and let's all think more positively!

Negative Thinking
‘Negativitis’ cripples the human spirit
Does it seem strange that some people COMPLAIN they don’t have enough TIME to be happy, yet they find enough time to be sad? Not really. You see, their deplorable plight has nothing to do with having sufficient or insufficient time. It has everything to do with complaining. After all, complaining is the negation of happiness. It’s impossible to complain and be happy at the same time.

So, beware of that insidious disease known as ‘negativitis’ (negative thinking). It is as pervasive as the common cold, but far more damaging. It mutilates, cripples, and corrodes the human spirit. Those infected by it are broken men and women aimlessly plodding along. The dark clouds brooding over them obscure their vision and cause them to become confrontational, apathetic, and cynical. Their lives are like flat champagne, without any sizzle. So, how do we inoculate ourselves against such a harmful disease? It was only after learning about the horrible effects of smoking that people began to give it up. It may be wise to do the same here. So, let’s review the effects of negativitis.

1. Complaining is worse than doing nothing, for it is digging the rut one is in deeper and deeper. Each time one complains, it becomes increasingly difficult to climb out of the ditch they’ve created. To loosen the grip of this vicious habit, we need to become aware of our complaining, stop it in its tracks, and immediately look for something positive to say. It’s just a matter of replacing a bad habit with a good one.

2. A negative attitude is self-defeating. We won’t find solutions to life’s problems by looking for someone or something to blame. Those who say, "Positive thinking doesn't work for me," have got it backwards. It’s not positive thinking that has to work; YOU have to work. For example, you have to work at appreciating what you have instead of moaning about what you lack.

3. Failure to do what you want to do (be happy) causes physical and mental stress. A rotten attitude, not only delays success, but also shortens life by damaging the immune system (to learn more on how your thoughts affect your immune system, investigate psychoneuroimmunology). So, besides the diseases directly caused by stress, such as heart disease and ulcers, we become susceptible to all manner of other diseases because of a weakened immune system.

4. Do you know anyone with a negative attitude? How many years have they been that way? Two years? Five years? Ten years? That’s how many years of happiness and success they have robbed themselves of. Blinded by their own negativity, they are prevented from seeing the good around them.

5. One characteristic of negative thinkers is their need to have the world behave according to their wishes. They have never grown up and still live with childish demands. Whenever people and the world fail to act according to their selfish wishes, they are unhappy. Such a poisonous attitude prevents them from growing and learning how to cope with life's challenges.

6. Everything negative we say about ourselves to ourselves (self-talk) and to others is a suggestion. We are unwittingly practicing self-hypnosis, programing ourselves for failure, and creating self-fulfilling prophecies.

7. The negative world of our imagination creates a negative world that is real and one that we are forced to live in. Take Ralph, for example. He’s always complaining about life. “Nowadays people are rude and surly. No matter where you go or what you do, you have to deal with ill-bred people.” As he said this, we made our way to a coffee shop. Once inside, we were greeted by a cheerful chap who asked us what we would like. Sighing (as if it took a great effect to speak), Ralph, almost inaudibly, ordered a medium sized regular coffee. When it arrived, he started complaining. Pointing to the cup, he said, “This is medium?” Without waiting for a response, he added, “You should have told me your cups are so small; I would have ordered a large one if I knew.” Despite the long line that Ralph was holding up, the man behind the counter tried to be patient. Without complaint, he took away the small coffee and replaced it with a large one. As soon as it arrived, Ralph looked at it aghast and bellowed, “You call this regular? There’s not enough cream!” The man behind the counter, who only moments ago was cheerful was now upset and sarcastically replied, “Yes, for MOST people, this is regular, but if you INSIST, I’ll put in more cream. Perhaps next time you may want to ask for DOUBLE cream!” I was next, so I got my coffee and joined Ralph at the table. “See,” he told me, “what did I say to you? People are rude.” Yes, in Ralph’s world, people ARE rude, but what he does not realize is he makes them so.

8. A particularly pernicious effect of ‘negativitis’ is that it sets one up for the mentality of a victim. Those with a woe-is-me attitude sit around in misery, waiting to be rescued. But they wait in vain because no one can rescue them from their own attitude. They are the only ones who can change it. And until they do so, they are condemned to continue suffering.

9. Another adverse effect of negativity is that it sets one up for the magic-bullet-syndrome. That is, the victim of ‘negativitis’ spends their time looking for a quick, easy fix, when none exists. By denying a fundamental law of life that states anything worthwhile requires effort to achieve, they achieve nothing. They won’t make progress until they realize that nothing in life is free. They’ve got to be willing to do what it takes to get what they want.

10. Also, beware of the fact that negative people attract other complainers. Because those who live in a world of doom and gloom alienate others, they have no choice but to look for other negative people to associate with. They then feed off one another and get locked in a clique of losers.

11. The constant stress that flows from a negative attitude also saps one’s energy, focus, and motivation. It is hardly a formula for success.

12. Also of great concern is the fact that those who refuse to work on improving their negative attitude may slide into depression, self-pity, and hopelessness.

13. Additionally, negative people not only harm themselves; they harm the world. They cease to make a contribution to it. Instead of helping, they spread gloom and misery everywhere. If they insist on infecting others, why not infect them with laughter? If they must carry something contagious, why not carry a smile?

Imagine being in a small boat drifting in a river. And imagine being unaware that your boat has a motor. As long as you fail to use that motor you will be a captive of the river. You will be a prisoner without any control over your destination. Yet, the boat that we’re in does have a motor. We can use it to change course. That motor is our power of choice. All we have to do is choose to look for the good, for when we do so, that is all we will find!

© Chuck Gallozzi
For more articles and contact information,


This may just be for YOU

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt, 'This Is My Story,' 1937

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)

I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.
Martha Washington (1732 - 1802)

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.
Anna Quindlen (1953 - )

Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.
Michael Pritchard

Forgiveness and Love

We love drama, don't we. We thrive on it. We love to see people at odds with one another. In the entertainment world...the workplace...even our own families. Why? Why are we like this? If there's a wrong, shouldn't we want to make it right? We are here to love. To love not just those that make it easy on us, but to love. Period. To love the unlovable. The unreachable. The untouchable. To love those that have wronged us, that have hurt us. To forgive them. To show them God's love through our own love. There should be no glory in holding out on mending a relationship. We should all be quick to mend any fallen relationship that we have. Will they all be perfect? By no means. But why is it worth it to hang onto a grudge? To not right the wrong? To not even try?

We've all been hurt by someone. Forgiveness and love can mend that. Forgiveness...and Love.


Confession #49

I like to pluck animal fur. I know it sounds weird and I promise I'm no more of a weirdo than the person you already know....I just like to do it. Skittles always sheds so bad this time of year...and so does Sugar...and I love when they get these really fluffy tuffs of fur that are just begging to be pulled out. I love to pull them out. Why? I don't know. Maybe the feeling of it pulling, or maybe just feeling like you're cleaning...I'm not sure. I've analyzed it the best I know how, but I just don't know WHY. It's fun. :)

I know...I'm a weirdo. Tell me something I DON'T know! :)


Things to Ponder

Here are some of my own "Things to Ponder":

If Gizmo on Gremlins wasn't allowed to eat after what point would one determine that he is allowed to eat again?

Names...they're so confusing...why is the nickname for William Bill and not Will? Richard Dick and not Rich? Robert Bob and not Rob? Theodore Teddy & not Theo? Henry is Hank? And why is the nickname for John Jack? Why does John need a nickname? Nicknames normally make words SHORTER, and you can't shorten John.

Well, anyway...those are some of my thoughts for today! See ya!

Missing Maleah

Mondays are the worst. I hate coming back to work and leaving Maleah at home. I spent the last 3 full days will her, and giving her up, even for 9 hours, is the hardest thing I do all week. For those mothers who've never had to leave your baby every day and go to work, you probably don't understand the severity of the hurt. But for those of you that are in my shoes....You know how I feel. I don't want to be here. I love my job. Very much. But Maleah entering my life has changed so many things. I want to be home. I want to be there...watching her play, sleep, cry, eat, fuss, bounce, jump, laugh, smile, giggle, give out baby hugs, pull my hair....I want to be there. I ache. I see her pictures all over my office and I ache. I want to throw in the towel and run home.

Mondays stink.

But Man, I LOVE my girl! :) She was MY GIRL all day yesterday. Wanted Mommy. Sweet as candy she was. Just loving me. Fussed when I left the room (both good and bad). I got her cracking up laughing too...that's always a blast. :)

I just miss her.....



Maleah is six months old now. I can hardly believe it. She's amazing. She's learning to sit up on her own, rejecting a sippy cup, and taking on carrots. She is growing in size and personality. She loves to make people laugh. She loves the theme song to the Gilmore Girls. She doesn't like to sit much, she loves to stand (jump really). Here she is at 6 months...

If you want to see more, go to her page. My dad took the pictures and they are SO GOOD!

She's a doll baby! People tell you that you'll love your child more than you could ever know. It's an indescribable love. It's amazing to me just how much I love her. There are no words that I could ever say that would express the love I feel for her. She is AMAZING.

People Love Pee!!!

Ok. This is too funny. I had to blog about it. I have written many things in the past few months since Bob set me up with my blog. I've written about Maleah, God, family, friends, Columbus Day, and my multiple confessions (48 now). Apparently people like pee. My blog has been accessed through other links, like Bob's Blog,, etc....but it has also been accessed by searches. In the last month, my blog has been found by people searching these exact phrases:

"pee soooo bad"

"couldn't hold it" pee

"had to pee" "hold it"

Apparently everyone has an infatuation with pee. I don't know what it is. It's funny that of the 5 searches that my blog has been hit with, peeing was the topic of 3 of them. The other 2 were "song-holy ground" and "my tonsils".

What is it about peeing? Then many of my confessions were in regards to peeing??? Wow! Peeing, peeing, peeing.... :) Pretty funny stuff. ;)


Beautiful Girl

There's a movie they show on ABC Family called Beautiful Girl. A girl who is so comfortable with who she is has all she could ask for...a wonderful fiance, a fantastic job, great friends and family...and while trying on wedding dresses runs into a girl from high school who does pageants. She decides to enter the pageant to win a trip for her honeymoon. During the pageant process and the bickerings with this high school rival, she loses herself a bit. She becomes focused on her looks...on looking better...and forgets that just a short while ago she was perfectly content with who she was, and confident as could be.

That happens too often today. We may be perfectly happy being ourselves, until someone comes along that we allow to bother us. We stop focusing on what's important and begin to focus on things that in the end don't really matter at all. I'm guilty of this as much as anyone. People who know my story know that. It's tough. And plastering 100 lb. girls on every magazine doesn't help. But in the end, does it matter? Was it worth it?

I have a friend that I have always looked up to because she was comfortable with who she was. No one ever bothered her. She was confident and sure of herself. I desired that for my own life so badly as I went through various struggles. She was exactly what I wanted to be. I wanted that comfort and confidence in myself. I didn't want to worry about what other people thought or said.

Someday I'll get there. It's a struggle...but God's on my side. :)

Thanks for listening! :)


Confession #48

I was a sheltered child. And not in a bad way. I believe sheltering your children (to a degree) is a VERY good thing. How sheltered was I? I thought a period was something that happened in school when you changed classes. I thought S - E - X was kissing while naked. AND in "A Christmas Story" I didn't understand why Ralphie got in trouble for using the word "fudge". Nope I had NO clue. I didn't know what the "Eff-dash-dash-dash" word was that he referred to. I had no idea. I'd never heard it. I probably didn't even know the word until high school. Even then, I don't think I had everything completely figured out.

I appreciate that shelteredness. Today children know too much too soon. The question of the word never came up, wondering what it meant, because I had never heard it. I appreciate that so much.

Hopefully Maleah will keep her innocence too!

I still can't believe it took me THAT long to figure it out!


Confession #47

Spots on a mirror.

You like it? It's a new poem I am going to write.

I look into the mirror, and what do I see?
Spots! On the mirror, right in front of me!
These crazy little spots, they never go away!
I try to ignore them, I'll get them another day.
But they're always there, they won't leave me alone.
I see those spots every day, and I sigh and I moan.
I guess I'll get the Windex and give it a good clean.
I hate those stupid spots. You know, they're really mean!

Kidding. Totally joking. That's not it!

At home we always had spots on our mirrors in the bathroom. Not that they didn't get's just hard to keep a mirror clean with 2 working parents and 3 children. We had a large mirror above the bathroom sink, and another long mirror on the back of the door. I used to constantly pay attention to the spots that ended up on those mirrors. It was sometimes my job to clean them as part of our chores and I would just marvel at those spots. What was so incredibly fascinating about the spots? Nothing to anyone else. But to me...I couldn't get over the amazement that no matter where on the mirror I looked there were always 2 duplicated spots. It was AMAZING! How in the world did each spot on the mirror have a second spot right next to it that looked EXACTLY the same???? I was baffled. I truly believe that I was a teenager (and sad to say probably atleast 15) before I realized that I was seeing each spot's reflection in the mirror.

How have I ever survived with this idiocy???? I tell ya!